Has War Outlived Its Usefulness?
As we watch the war in the Middle East unfold on our television screens, each day bringing new scenes of devastation and horror, more and more I am hearing people say, "This is crazy, there has to be a better way." These comments are not just coming from my peace and justice friends, the already converted dovish ones I can count on to espouse such things. No, this time I'm hearing this from unexpected quarters, from people I would never have expected it from. Yesterday's news of 37 children killed in the village of Qana seemed so over the top, so outrageous, that I thought, "that's it, they have to stop now," and yet they are not stopping. The rockets continue to rain on Israel and the Israelis will not stop until they feel they have knocked out Hezbollah completely, until they feel safe. And I don't know when, Hezbollah will ever stop. So we're probably in this one for a very,very long time.
I can understand the Israeli need to feel safe and secure within its borders. I can understand its need, even its addiction to feeling powerful, following as it does on a two thousand year history of persecution and extermination. I can understand that Hezbollah gets to feel really powerful by going up against Israel. Boy what a rush that must be when you have not felt powerful, respected or admired in the world in recent memory. They are fighting for dignity and empowerment and respect all over the Muslim and Arab world and it probably feels great and they are not about to let go soon. The problem is that every death in this war, whether that casualty is a civilian, a soldier or a Hezbollah terrorist, plants the seeds for more terrorist acts, more revenge and retaliation in the future. The entire premise that this war is fought on, is bankrupt.
People fight wars because they think that the use of overpowering force will stop people from acting violently toward them. That may have been true at different points in history. One may make the case that overwhelming force caused the Nazis and the Japanese to surrender in WWII. But the face of warfare has changed in the past sixty years or so and state to state wars are increasingly rare. More and more violence is the result of lawless militias, insurgencies, terrorist groups and cells wreaking horror against large state targets. These are people who are angry about something, people who feel left out, people who want something, who feel powerless, who have yearnings that have not been heard. And because they feel so weak, so powerless, they turn to violence which in an instant makes them feel powerful. There's nothing like a gun or a bomb to make you feel powerful--fast. They feel devalued and they do not value life; they will take it in an instant. How to stop them? Is bombing them into oblivion and taking out a lot of civilians at the same time the best way to stop them? Do you really help your cause if you make heroes of these people?
There is a saying in the addiction field that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, each time hoping for a different result. As I watch the war in Iraq and the war on terror that the US is conducting, I can't help shaking my head ruefully. Do they really think this is going to make a difference? It's the same reaction as I watch Israel conduct it's war, first against the Palestinians and now against Hezbollah. How many of your children do you want to die, in this or in future wars? How many of your grandchildren will be dying in future versions of this war? Are you ready for your economy to be devastated? Your infrastructure to be destroyed? Your beautiful cities to be torn up? Everything you've built to be demolished, all of this so you can say, well, at least we've survived? Survived for what? I thought life was about living, having fun, loving, making music, dancing, laughing, playing, contributing to the common good. If you and your children and grandchilden and your country are maimed and destroyed, what kind of life is that? Is that a life worth living?
I will put this very starkly and boldly: I think war has outlived its usefulness. I think we have come to a turning point on this planet and it is time to find a better way to solve our problems in getting along with each other. Even if war may have solved problems at some point in our history, I believe that it is now unworkable on this ever more crowded planet. I believe that we are on the cusp of an evolutionary leap in our development as human beings. There was a time when human beings routinely committed cannibalism. We longer do that. There was a time when we routinely practiced slavery. We not longer do that on this planet and when it happens it is front page news. We are in the throes of an evolutionary change where rape and domestic violence are becoming socially unacceptable. They are still practiced in many quarters, but more and more around the world these practices are illegal and unacceptable. This is the place we are coming to with war and violence. It's not that it is bad. It's not that it's wrong. It just is unworkable. And it's time for humanity to learn new skills to replace the violence option.
Why have humans resorted to war and violence so quickly and why haven't we learned other behaviors to take the place of violence? Pretty simple. When we are in conflict with another, whether one individual or a group, we feel powerless and one thing makes us feel powerful--the threat of force or the actual use of force. Hence the use of guns and bombs and lethal force. And, after using lethal force, even in very constrained and orderly ways known as the military, people get very used to it and tend to glorify it and mytholigize its use. We want to keep it around because it makes us feel powerful and safe. To even consider other options is very frightening to us. It makes us feel vulnerable and exposed. And yet, I am convinced, that if humans are to survive and thrive on this planet, that we must, absolutely must, learn and master new ways of behaving and dealing with conflict without the use of violence.
What are some of these ways? Can we actually learn these ways? Having spent my life learning them, I can vouch for the fact that the new behaviors are eminently learnable. It takes determination but anyone can learn these new skills. Here are some of them:
--Deep listening from the heart to the sufferings, needs and yearnings of the other
--Turning toward the "other", the "enemy", being willing to encounter, to understand, to befriend those who have hurt you
--Being willing to listen to the grievances of the other without getting emotionally reactive and defensive
--Learning to control one's emotional reactions or "triggers" so you don't fly off the handle all the time
--Learning how to "walk a mile in the shoes" of the person who is different from you
--Give up being a victim and take 100% responsibility for your life, both as an individual and as a group
--Take responsibility for the hurts you have caused and make amends, both as an individual and as a group
--Give up talking in slogans (e.g."democracy") and the absolutes of black and white thinking and embrace the greys of this world
--Instead of simple, fast solutions for problems, look for the upstream, more complex, long term root causes to problems
--Practice connecting with people at the heart level, even when its hard
--Learning the ways of forgiveness
We could be living a life of playfulness, contribution and fulfillment or we could be living lives of devastation, grief and loss. We can choose. We can create it the way we want it. We don't have to live the way we've been living. All it takes is the decision, individually and collectively, that we are sick to death of grieving and funerals, of blood and mangled bodies, and children, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters buried too early, much, much too early. Choose.
Questions of Inquiry:
1. What about those lawless countries like Somalia and Afghanistan run by warlords and thugs, would talking and listening work there? Isn't violence the only option with people like that? What do you think?
2. What's great about violence? Why should we keep it going?
3. Why do you think people resist learning non-violent behaviors?
I can understand the Israeli need to feel safe and secure within its borders. I can understand its need, even its addiction to feeling powerful, following as it does on a two thousand year history of persecution and extermination. I can understand that Hezbollah gets to feel really powerful by going up against Israel. Boy what a rush that must be when you have not felt powerful, respected or admired in the world in recent memory. They are fighting for dignity and empowerment and respect all over the Muslim and Arab world and it probably feels great and they are not about to let go soon. The problem is that every death in this war, whether that casualty is a civilian, a soldier or a Hezbollah terrorist, plants the seeds for more terrorist acts, more revenge and retaliation in the future. The entire premise that this war is fought on, is bankrupt.
People fight wars because they think that the use of overpowering force will stop people from acting violently toward them. That may have been true at different points in history. One may make the case that overwhelming force caused the Nazis and the Japanese to surrender in WWII. But the face of warfare has changed in the past sixty years or so and state to state wars are increasingly rare. More and more violence is the result of lawless militias, insurgencies, terrorist groups and cells wreaking horror against large state targets. These are people who are angry about something, people who feel left out, people who want something, who feel powerless, who have yearnings that have not been heard. And because they feel so weak, so powerless, they turn to violence which in an instant makes them feel powerful. There's nothing like a gun or a bomb to make you feel powerful--fast. They feel devalued and they do not value life; they will take it in an instant. How to stop them? Is bombing them into oblivion and taking out a lot of civilians at the same time the best way to stop them? Do you really help your cause if you make heroes of these people?
There is a saying in the addiction field that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, each time hoping for a different result. As I watch the war in Iraq and the war on terror that the US is conducting, I can't help shaking my head ruefully. Do they really think this is going to make a difference? It's the same reaction as I watch Israel conduct it's war, first against the Palestinians and now against Hezbollah. How many of your children do you want to die, in this or in future wars? How many of your grandchildren will be dying in future versions of this war? Are you ready for your economy to be devastated? Your infrastructure to be destroyed? Your beautiful cities to be torn up? Everything you've built to be demolished, all of this so you can say, well, at least we've survived? Survived for what? I thought life was about living, having fun, loving, making music, dancing, laughing, playing, contributing to the common good. If you and your children and grandchilden and your country are maimed and destroyed, what kind of life is that? Is that a life worth living?
I will put this very starkly and boldly: I think war has outlived its usefulness. I think we have come to a turning point on this planet and it is time to find a better way to solve our problems in getting along with each other. Even if war may have solved problems at some point in our history, I believe that it is now unworkable on this ever more crowded planet. I believe that we are on the cusp of an evolutionary leap in our development as human beings. There was a time when human beings routinely committed cannibalism. We longer do that. There was a time when we routinely practiced slavery. We not longer do that on this planet and when it happens it is front page news. We are in the throes of an evolutionary change where rape and domestic violence are becoming socially unacceptable. They are still practiced in many quarters, but more and more around the world these practices are illegal and unacceptable. This is the place we are coming to with war and violence. It's not that it is bad. It's not that it's wrong. It just is unworkable. And it's time for humanity to learn new skills to replace the violence option.
Why have humans resorted to war and violence so quickly and why haven't we learned other behaviors to take the place of violence? Pretty simple. When we are in conflict with another, whether one individual or a group, we feel powerless and one thing makes us feel powerful--the threat of force or the actual use of force. Hence the use of guns and bombs and lethal force. And, after using lethal force, even in very constrained and orderly ways known as the military, people get very used to it and tend to glorify it and mytholigize its use. We want to keep it around because it makes us feel powerful and safe. To even consider other options is very frightening to us. It makes us feel vulnerable and exposed. And yet, I am convinced, that if humans are to survive and thrive on this planet, that we must, absolutely must, learn and master new ways of behaving and dealing with conflict without the use of violence.
What are some of these ways? Can we actually learn these ways? Having spent my life learning them, I can vouch for the fact that the new behaviors are eminently learnable. It takes determination but anyone can learn these new skills. Here are some of them:
--Deep listening from the heart to the sufferings, needs and yearnings of the other
--Turning toward the "other", the "enemy", being willing to encounter, to understand, to befriend those who have hurt you
--Being willing to listen to the grievances of the other without getting emotionally reactive and defensive
--Learning to control one's emotional reactions or "triggers" so you don't fly off the handle all the time
--Learning how to "walk a mile in the shoes" of the person who is different from you
--Give up being a victim and take 100% responsibility for your life, both as an individual and as a group
--Take responsibility for the hurts you have caused and make amends, both as an individual and as a group
--Give up talking in slogans (e.g."democracy") and the absolutes of black and white thinking and embrace the greys of this world
--Instead of simple, fast solutions for problems, look for the upstream, more complex, long term root causes to problems
--Practice connecting with people at the heart level, even when its hard
--Learning the ways of forgiveness
We could be living a life of playfulness, contribution and fulfillment or we could be living lives of devastation, grief and loss. We can choose. We can create it the way we want it. We don't have to live the way we've been living. All it takes is the decision, individually and collectively, that we are sick to death of grieving and funerals, of blood and mangled bodies, and children, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters buried too early, much, much too early. Choose.
Questions of Inquiry:
1. What about those lawless countries like Somalia and Afghanistan run by warlords and thugs, would talking and listening work there? Isn't violence the only option with people like that? What do you think?
2. What's great about violence? Why should we keep it going?
3. Why do you think people resist learning non-violent behaviors?
posted by Joy at 4:56 PM
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